It’s Monday morning.
One of your team leads asks for Wednesday morning off.
No reason, short notice.
Two weeks later he asks again, this time for a full day, and mentions he may need “a bit of flexibility” over the next month.
Nobody in the room thinks about fertility.
When people picture fertility treatment at work, they picture a woman.
But infertility doesn’t follow that picture.
The World Health Organization describes it as a condition of the male or female reproductive system, and in around half of couples who struggle to conceive, a male factor is part of the story.
Your employee may be going through tests of his own, supporting a partner through IVF, or both.
And he is even less likely than a female colleague to tell you.
This article builds on our guide to what HR teams should know when an employee is going through IVF.
There, we noted that fertility at work isn’t only about women.
Here, we look at the people who most often go unseen: men going through tests and treatment of their own, and partners standing beside someone who is.
Through four IVF cycles, I learned that fertility treatment never happens to just one person.
Partners sit through the same appointments, the same waiting and the same grief, and most of them do it quietly,
while carrying on at work as if nothing is happening.
Very few workplaces make room for that, and the people I speak with notice when theirs does. – Sanja
Key takeaways
- A male factor plays a part in around half of infertility cases, and most men with fertility problems have no symptoms.
- Men go through fertility treatment in two roles, as patients and as partners, and both need time off work.
- Men rarely talk about it at work, so support has to be visible before anyone asks.
- Many policies and legal rights focus on the person having IVF, which leaves partners relying on annual leave or goodwill.
- A few small changes close most of the gap: inclusive wording, partner leave for key days and manager training.
1. Male infertility is common, and usually invisible
The UK fertility regulator, the HFEA, notes that for around half of heterosexual couples having problems conceiving, the cause is sperm-related. In about 30% of couples, according to the Men’s Health Strategy for England, the male partner is the primary cause. These are not rare cases. In any workplace of a meaningful size, some of the employees affected by infertility are men.
This is also where global health guidance is heading. In November 2025, the WHO published its first global guideline on infertility, with clinical pathways for both male and female causes and a clear call for emotional support for everyone affected.
So why does male infertility stay so hidden? Partly because there is usually nothing to see. Most men with a low sperm count feel completely healthy, and male infertility rarely has obvious signs. Often the first clue is simply that a couple has been trying for a long time.
Men’s fertility is also checked later than women’s. UK experts have warned that treatable male causes, such as a varicocele (an enlarged vein in the scrotum), can go undiagnosed, and that some couples may end up in IVF they might not have needed. For HR, this means an employee may spend months, sometimes years, in tests and appointments before anyone puts a name to the problem.
2. Men go through treatment too, not just alongside it
When a couple goes through fertility treatment, the man usually plays one of two roles, and sometimes both. Each one shows up in his work calendar.
As a patient. Investigations often start with a semen analysis, which may need repeating, plus blood tests and a referral to a urologist or andrology specialist. Some men then need surgery, for example to correct a blockage or a varicocele. Others need surgical sperm retrieval, which the NHS describes as usually an outpatient procedure under local anaesthetic, though sometimes under general anaesthetic. That means planning for recovery time, not just the appointment itself. If you want a fuller picture, here are the main treatment options for male infertility.
As a partner. He may go to scans, give his partner her hormone injections at home, and be there on egg collection day. On that day the clinic usually needs a fresh sperm sample, unless frozen sperm is being used, so his presence is part of the treatment, not a courtesy. Then come the embryo transfer and the two-week wait for a result.
Here’s what that day looks like for him. According to NHS guidance on what happens during IVF, the partner gives his sample in a private room at the clinic, usually while the eggs are being collected.
The lab prepares it straight away, and the clinic calls the next day to say how many eggs have been fertilised.
Sometimes a second sample is needed, so he may be asked to stay nearby until the first one has been checked.
And if he needs surgical sperm retrieval, that may happen on the same day as egg collection, which means both partners are recovering at once.
So for a partner, egg collection day isn’t a morning off.
It’s a full working day out, often booked with less than two days’ notice.
The key point for HR is timing. A man’s dates follow his partner’s body and the clinic’s schedule, so short notice applies to him exactly as it does to her. We walked through those dates step by step in what an IVF cycle looks like in an employee’s calendar.
3. Why men stay silent at work
Men feel the strain of infertility as much as women do. They just talk about it less.
In a 2020 survey of male patients by Fertility Network UK, 79% of men said fertility challenges had affected their mental health, and 48% said their work life had been affected. In the same survey of men going through fertility treatment, 42% of those who went through treatment did not feel fully involved alongside their partner, and 95% wanted more support for men.
At work, that silence has a clear pattern. A 2026 study of fertility treatment and employment found that men going through treatment, or supporting a partner, tended to tell their manager only to negotiate time off, and avoided telling colleagues because they feared looking vulnerable (Wilkinson, Mumford and Carroll, 2026).
The reasons are easy to recognise:
- Stigma. Fertility is still linked to ideas about masculinity, and a diagnosis can feel like a judgement on who a man is.
- Being “the strong one”. Many men feel their job is to support their partner, not to need support themselves.
- Feeling sidelined. Treatment centres on the woman’s body, so men can feel like spectators even when they are patients too. Earlier research by Fertility Network UK and Leeds Beckett University found men describe infertility as isolating and emotionally distressing, and want it to stop being treated as a “women’s issue”.
Workplace humour makes this harder. A throwaway joke about a man’s fertility can be the reason he never asks for help.
Grief matters too. When a cycle fails or a pregnancy is lost, partners grieve as well, yet they are often expected to be back at their desk the next morning as if nothing happened.
4. Where men fall through the gaps
Most workplace fertility support is designed around one person: the woman having IVF. That leaves men in a grey zone, both in law and in policy.
Take the UK as an example. Nobody has a legal right to paid time off for IVF appointments, and Acas advises employers to treat them like any other medical appointment. A man’s own tests and procedures fall under that general rule.
For partners, there is no specific right at all while treatment is going on. Only once there is a pregnancy does a partner gain a legal right to unpaid time off for up to two antenatal appointments, capped at 6.5 hours each. So almost all of a partner’s IVF journey (scans, egg collection, transfer, results) runs on annual leave, unpaid leave or a manager’s goodwill.
Rules in other countries differ, and we covered the main ones in our first HR guide. But the pattern is similar in many places: rights, where they exist, tend to follow the person who is or may become pregnant.
Policies often repeat the same gap without meaning to. Watch for:
- wording such as “women undergoing IVF” or “the employee having treatment”, with no mention of partners;
- leave that starts only at embryo transfer or at pregnancy;
- fertility benefits or health insurance that cover IVF but not a semen analysis, a specialist referral or male treatment.
Why this matters for the business
A 2025 international survey of more than 3,600 employees and employers in the UK, Australia, Japan, Poland and France found that 39% of employees going through fertility treatment had considered leaving their job. Two in three said their workplace offered no support, and 60% had no paid time off for appointments. The survey was run by Fertility Matters at Work and This Can Happen, funded by Ferring Pharmaceuticals, and it covers all employees, not only men.
But if support is hard to see for women, it is even harder to see for men. That makes part of the retention risk invisible: the people you might lose are the ones who never asked.
5. What a fertility policy that includes men looks like
You don’t need a separate policy for men. You need one policy that men can see themselves in. Seven changes cover most of it.
Use inclusive wording. Write “employees going through fertility investigations or treatment, and their partners”. This also covers same-sex couples, donors and people building a family through surrogacy.
Cover men’s own care. Include tests, specialist appointments, surgery and recovery days, not only IVF itself.
Give partners time for the key days. Egg collection, embryo transfer and results day matter most. Paid time is best, but even guaranteed unpaid time removes the guesswork. Some employers already do this; the University of Glasgow, for example, includes time off for colleagues who accompany a partner in its fertility treatment guidance.
Keep the same privacy rules. No medical details required, whoever is having treatment. “I need time off for a fertility appointment” should be enough.
Train managers on male scenarios. A manager who knows that a man’s short-notice request could be fertility-related will respond very differently. Helpful: “Take the time you need, you don’t have to explain.” Better to avoid: “Is it your wife’s thing?” or any joke about his fertility.
Offer emotional support men will actually use. Signpost your employee assistance programme and counselling, and mention options designed for men, such as the men-only peer support groups run by Fertility Network UK. For many men, an anonymous space is the easier first step.
Include partners in loss and failed cycles. Make sure compassionate leave after a failed cycle or a pregnancy loss covers the partner too.
Finally, give both partners access to trusted education. When men understand what is happening, they feel less sidelined and make better decisions with their partner. Our online course on male infertility, created with fertility specialists, is one place to start, and employees can take it privately, at their own pace.
Quick checklist for HR
☐ Does our policy name partners and men, not only women?
☐ Does it cover men’s own tests, procedures and recovery time?
☐ Can partners take time off for egg collection, embryo transfer and results day?
☐ Do our benefits cover male fertility testing and treatment?
☐ Have line managers been briefed on how men may ask for time off?
☐ Is emotional support signposted for men?
☐ Does compassionate leave after a failed cycle or loss include partners?
Frequently asked questions
How common is male infertility?
More common than most people think.
A male factor plays a part in around half of couples with fertility problems, and in about 30% of couples it is the main cause.
Most men have no symptoms, so it usually comes to light only through testing.
Do men need time off for fertility treatment?
Yes. Men may need time for their own tests, specialist appointments and procedures, some of which need a short recovery.
As partners, they are also needed on key treatment days.
On egg collection day, for example, the partner usually gives a fresh sperm sample at the clinic and takes his partner home after sedation.
Do partners have a legal right to time off for IVF appointments?
In most places, there is no specific right.
Where the law does cover fertility treatment, it usually protects the person having it, not their partner.
Some countries give partners time off for pregnancy appointments, but only once there is a pregnancy, as in the UK.
Until then, partners usually rely on annual leave, unpaid leave or their employer’s goodwill, so it’s worth checking your local rules and writing partner leave into your own policy.
Should our fertility policy be gender-neutral?
Yes. Inclusive wording that names partners lets men, same-sex couples, single parents, donors and intended parents through surrogacy use the same policy without having to ask for an exception.
Want to support your team better?
Book a free consultation with us.
We’ll show you how Family By Choice works for HR teams, managers and employees, and why it can make a hard time easier for your people.
Our guides for HR teams and line managers cover every fertility challenge, from IVF and failed cycles to male infertility, donor conception and surrogacy.
No obligation, just a conversation.
Infertility is often called a women’s issue. In most workplaces, it is a team issue.
When men can see themselves in your policy, you support the whole family, not half of it.
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